The Return of the Son of Keith Posts Again!

It was nearly two weeks since Keith last posted on the website he shared with his two brothers, and his last post was just a bunch of YouTube links. The self-imposed schedule in his mind told him that he was due for another rXtrospective, but he needed to re-read the X-Factor comics he was going to write about, and he wasn't sure anyone cared about 10-year old comics featuring C-list X-Men. He tried to ignore the fact that his brothers had also been posting infrequently, but without their regular content he found it difficult to work up the motivation to write. Finally, at almost 2:00 in the mornig, he sat down to write his next post. Did he just write "mornig?" He thought about going back and fixing his typo, but decided not to waste his time.

What to write about? Last night as he was falling asleep, he had an idea of what to write. It seemed so brilliant, but it's gone now. It was probably just one of those things that seems profound at the time, but then you wake up your wife and start explaining to her that you figured out how to save money on gasoline by pouring spoiled milk in the gas tank. Suddenly you realize that what seems like brilliance in a dreamlike stupor turns out to be a steaming pile of milk curds in the light of day.

Zero (his dog) started whining at him to go outside. "I guess I'll take a break from writing for a moment," he says. Margie ignored him, used to his tendency to talk to himself and expertly skilled at tuning him out. Zero's knee seemed like it was bothering him, so Keith gently stretched it for him before going outside. Zero peed almost immediately, but then, OH NO! He also had to poop.

Keith was unprepared for this eventuality. He quickly brought Zero back inside, grabbed a plastic bag, and went outside to clean up Zero's unexpected gift. After filling the bag, Keith walked to the end of the block to deposit the bag in the dumpster behind the liquor store. As he approached the alley, the clouds parted and he glanced up at the moon for the first time that night. His face frozen in shock, he dropped the bag of feces on the ground.

"No! It can't be! How did I lose track of the days?"

It was a full moon.

He doubled over in pain as he felt the transformation take hold. The first things he felt were the phalanges in his fingers shrinking as his wrist bones simultaneously grew longer. He felt as though his thighs were being wrenched from his body as his femurs' connections to his pelvis violently shifted. He felt his heart racing as his sternum stretched out and away from his body, creating a deep barrel chest. His coccyx sprouted several caudal vertebrae as a tail erupted and began to curl in on itself. He felt his clothes sag and fall away from his body as he lost weight rapidly. His head and jaws shrank, his teeth protruding in new, confusing directions, but his eyes remained the same size. Then the itching began, as fur sprouted on every inch of his body, from his curly tail to his wrinkly face.

"Damn."

Unable to even lift his clothes from the alley, let alone deposit the poop bag in the dumpster, Keith walked home. He scratched at the front door frantically until Margie opened it. When she saw him, her face lit up.

"Awwww, did my little buddy forget what time of the month it is? Did he?"

She's never going to let him live this down.